At first I thought it was just that I hadn't been paying attention. Mrs to be's car is always on the side of the drive overhung by next door's tree so it does catch more than mine in the normal run of things but, despite my washing them about a week ago, both were quite unpleasantly bespattered by the weekend so Tiny and I had a grand old time re-washing them. The weird part is, they were absolutely covered again two days later.
My first thought was that it must be because the cars are here 24 hours a day when normally both would be out for five mornings (or whole days) each week. But they're both there all day every weekend and it's never this bad. We've been here nearly a year so if it's seasonal then I feel I would have noticed last year, unless it's a very specific "last week in March" thing. In any case, I have observed that not being under the tree makes very little difference since the birds are using the telephone wires to shit from. These handy crap-platforms divide the driveway into four triangular sections of varying sizes, none of which contains a rectangle larger than the footprint of my car. See diagram:
The lower right looks promising but is woefully too short for the estate car and, while Mrs to be's will juuust about fit, you have to be so snug up to the bushes that one fears for the paintwork (and, of course, any hope of access on that side of the car) and so close to the house that we can't get the bins out for collection. I briefly considered covering the cars with something, or stringing litte cack-catching strips under the wires, but eventually my solution was to park the bigger car round the back of the house and, well, this farcical nonsense:
I know it looks ridiculous but there is a satisfying lack of excrement on the car this morning so I feel very smug. My neighbours must think I have some pathological fear of people using my driveway during lockdown. I'm just worried I would have run out of Demon Shine.
In other news, my standing desk arrived yesterday, which hopefully will go some way to alleviating my back pain from sitting on a crappy rigid chair all day. It was rather fun putting it together and Tiny was hugely impressed when it was done. "I want to use it" she says, despite the platform of the desk being an inch above her head. Ah, the ambition of youth.
Her fever, which made a brief appearance on Tuesday evening before abating without trace yesterday, is back higher than ever. I've read that Covid is like this, so on the assumption that all three of us already have it, and it's only a matter of time before we're all incapacitated, Mrs to be is currently in the kitchen cooking up as many microwaveable meals as she can. Here's hoping it's not that bad, but no sense in being unprepared.
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